There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
