We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize