wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
