your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
