Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
