would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize