He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize