Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I didn't notice because vodka
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
