dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
