i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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