i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
