the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
we're so committed to being not committed
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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