Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We're too hungover to prance.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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