Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
