i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
