shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
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