You're so nebulous sometimes
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
