youre lurking in front of me
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
