maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
