I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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