So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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