But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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