i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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