brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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