Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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