Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
