T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
