so explain again why im purple
no
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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