return my video game
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
