Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
