the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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