do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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