I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
