I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
