yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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