I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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