Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
nutella sex= disaster
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
