I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
