woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
