Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
