So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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