i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
