My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
