A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
