Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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