The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
