I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize