We're like a lot better than the average bears
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
