brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That's intense
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
