You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
