he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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