Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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