someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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