I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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