I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
