I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize