is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
